Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Why It Hurts and How to Handle It

This week my daughter Halle dialled into Christmas in July by video call. She’s in the Navy, she was where she needed to be, and she was there on a screen, present and absent at the same time in the way that only technology can make possible.

It got me thinking about fear of missing out. Not just the social media kind, where you scroll through someone’s highlights and feel vaguely left out. The real kind. The kind that comes when you genuinely cannot be somewhere you want to be, and you have to sit with that.

What Is FOMO and Why Does It Affect Mental Health?

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is defined as the anxiety that others are having rewarding experiences without you. Research consistently links FOMO to higher rates of anxiety, depression, loneliness, poor sleep, and reduced life satisfaction. Around 50 to 70 percent of social media users experience FOMO, with younger generations feeling it most acutely. 

FOMO is linked to Social Anxiety Disorder, depression, and anxiety related to missing out on opportunities to connect and bond with people we value. For some people it is fleeting. For others it accumulates into something heavier, a persistent sense of not belonging, of being left behind while life happens elsewhere.

Social media amplifies all of this. At any time of day or night, you can scroll through your feed and fixate on what is happening in the world and what other people are doing without you. The curated highlight reels of other people’s gatherings, holidays, and milestones make our own ordinary moments feel inadequate by comparison.

When Missing Out Is Not a Choice

Most conversations about FOMO focus on social media habits. But there is a quieter, heavier kind of missing out that deserves more airtime. The kind that belongs to defence personnel, shift workers, healthcare professionals, parents, carers, and anyone whose circumstances pull them away from the people and moments they love.

Missing out in these situations is not laziness or avoidance. It is the cost of the life you have chosen, or the life that has chosen you. And the grief that comes with it is real, even when it goes unnamed.

FOMO vs JOMO: Reframing the Missing

One helpful concept gaining traction in mental health circles is JOMO, the Joy Of Missing Out. Rather than treating every missed event as a loss, JOMO invites us to find genuine contentment in where we actually are. A quiet night in can be just as good as a loud night out.

This is not about pretending missing out does not hurt. It is about deliberately redirecting attention to the value of the present moment, rather than the imagined richness of the one you are not in.

How to Deal With FOMO: Practical Strategies

Name it. Saying “I really wish I had been there” is not weakness. Naming the feeling reduces its grip and opens the door to processing it honestly.

Challenge social comparison. Ask yourself: am I comparing my real life to someone else’s edited highlight reel? Social media shows the best moments, not the full picture.

Create your own connection. A separate catch-up, a voice message, a small ritual of your own: these things matter more than we give them credit for.

Embrace JOMO. Reflect with gratitude on what inspires and sustains you now.Focus on what you have, not what you missed.

Limit the scroll. Turn off notifications. Clean up your feed. Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad and follow ones that inspire or teach you something.

Talk to someone. If FOMO is tipping into persistent anxiety, loneliness, or depression, it might be worth speaking with a psychologist.

If FOMO is affecting your mental health, the team at Conscious Health Clinic is here to help. In person in Wollongong or via telehealth across Australia.